Dear President Putin

Valdimir Putin
President of Russia
Moscow
28 November 2016
Dear President Putin,
Now that CIA agent Craig Timberg posing as a Washington Post reporter has blown my cover and exposed me as a Russian agent, I was wondering if I might ask you for a Russian passport and a bit of diplomatic cover, perhaps assistant press officer at the Russian embassy in Washington, until I can get out of the country. I saw that you gave a passport to Steven Seagal, so I am hopeful that being a Russian agent is as important as teaching martial arts to Russians.
I don’t know what the pay scale for Russian agents is, but whatever I have coming to me please deposit in a Russian bank. The Swiss banks are no longer useful as the Swiss government allowed Washington to write its banking laws. Perhaps also you could line me up with a publisher for my memoirs – ‘My Life As A Putin Stooge.’
We need to get on with this ASAP as the Washington Post has the FBI on my tail.

This post was published at Paul Craig Roberts on 28 November 2016.